Is She The Reason?

Welcome back, tea sippers.

Hope you didn’t miss me too much! 🙂

I received a lot of feedback from the two part tea, “’12 Bonnie & Clyde”. Truthfully, I revealed a very vulnerable and intimate part of my life to provide an eye opener for my readers.

I was often asked if it was hard for me to write my piece. And my answer is no, not until I had to explain his murder. To those who are wondering, this November will make it three years since his passing, and his murderer has never been caught.

Tonight’s tea is sure to serve as entertainment to your exciting eyes and wandering minds.

Ladies, have you ever been in a situation where you are involved with a man, and things don’t work out for an amount of reasons, but you can’t help but wonder if there was somebody else in the picture he just wasn’t telling you about?

Don’t burn your tongue on this one.

Is She The Reason?

I thought that this was something (yes)

Promising that one day would turn into something (yes)

Thought the feelings were mutual, didn’t have to guess

Started being skeptical, always unavailable

Like you didn’t know

But now I’m feeling something

That’s telling me this may not be the real something

But you was showing me, now I’m ready and you running…

 

I carefully examined myself in the mirror before slipping on my clear sandals and grabbing my MAC lip gloss to apply some juiciness and moisture to my lips.

Tonight was my great friend Mila’s birthday, and of course we were going to go out, eat some good food, and have a great time with my dawg.

I quickly grabbed my keys and swung my Louis Vuitton bag over my shoulder as I walked over to my whip to head over to the restaurant that we would be dining at.

I placed my iPod on shuffle and one of my jams came on, “Is She The Reason” by Destiny’s Child.

“Oh, this is my shit!” I exclaimed while bobbing my head to the beat, getting ready to lay it down when the vocals were introduced.

I started to sing the very first verse of the song before hitting the bridge, but I couldn’t get my mouth to sing to the chorus.

It had hit me.

Let me explain.

It wasn’t till a few weeks earlier that my friend Mila texted me one Monday evening while I was driving back from Miami to Orlando.

The content of the message had me bent.

“Quick question: If you don’t mind me asking, the guy you used to talk to who recently had a child, what’s his name?”

I couldn’t help but have a crazy expression illustrated on my face from what Mila had texted me.

See, when it’s matters like this, I don’t text you back.

Imma call ya ass.

I dialed Mila’s number with a quickness to see what was up.

Because she was definitely talking about someone who used to be my dude.

Deuce.

 

“Hey girl, what’s up?” She answered.

“Hey Mila. I was on the road when you texted me.” I replied.

“Yeah, I figured. I knew you would be driving back from Miami today.”

“Yeah. Now, uh, the text you sent me… Who wants to know?”

I kept my relationship with Deuce in a private manner. Only a selected few knew about us, and I mean just that: a selected few.

“So you know Sierra’s friend is our new roommate, right?”

“Yeah, aren’t they like best friends or something?” I questioned.

“Yeah. So me and her bestie, whose name is Trina, was talking not too long ago in the living room. You know, about life and stuff.”

I held the phone tighter. ”Okay.”

“She started to describe her situation that she had with this dude, and dawg, it sounded familiar…Like it was similar to what you told me too.”

“What did she tell you?” I snapped slightly.

“Well, mainly that they were talking for a while-“

“When?” I cut her off.

“Last year.”

I exhaled quickly. I didn’t know Deuce last year, so it was cool. “Aiight.” I replied coolly.

“But they stopped talking because he got someone pregnant.”

“Mmm hmm.” I continued to wait for the gut punching conclusion.

“Is that your old boo?” She quizzed.

“Yeah, it sure is. That’s Deuce.” I said, flatly.

“See, I knew it…” She started to talk, and drifted off.

“So, what, she wanted to know who I was?” I asked intrigued.

“Yeah, because I told her that her story seemed too familiar.”

“Humph.” I rolled my eyes. “They still talk or something?”

“Naw, they basically stopped talking since he told her about the baby.”

“I see.” I replied quietly, only because my mind was running a mile a minute.

I wrapped up my convo with Mila and ended the call immediately after.

Trina, I kept saying to myself.

 Trina, Trina, Trina.

I had now realized that Trina was going to be at this dinner for Mila’s birthday.

And I didn’t know how to feel about it.

I didn’t have any instant pressure with Trina, because clearly, they had their thing before he even knew me and way before we even met. So I said to myself, it’s cool, it’s straight.

This shit will be nothing.

Until I pulled up at that damn restaurant.

I rolled my eyes at the fact that I would kind of have a constant reminder of Deuce because his “ex fling” was here too.

I mean, what are the odds? I was starting to think that only shit like this happened to me.

I was the first one to arrive at the dinner party, so I made sure that the reservation was all set for Mila to arrive.

What I thought would be a dinner party of about 15, rapidly became a party of 6.

Well damn. I thought I could have been on the other side of the table and not be bothered by the girl.

Now that the dinner would be all intimate and shit, she had to be right up in my presence and very close in my vicinity.

I was soon joined by my great friend Ray, and we were both happy to see Mila rocking a nice navy blue dress that hugged her curves, her hair and makeup was popping, and her shoes complimented her whole fit.

“Happy Birthday, dawg!” I exclaimed while hugging her. “You look bomb!”

“Ooh, thanks chile!” She replied with a beam.

Since half of the dinner party was here, we were able to be seated. We were lead to a dim lit area where the booth curved around for everyone to be seated right next to each other.

“Great.” I mumbled underneath my breath. As long as I don’t have to have physical contact with Miss Trina, things would be fine.

I mean, shit, I don’t want to be under the same roof with a chick that was deeply associated with my dude. I had no intentions on being friends with her. It’s just weird.

I was extremely hungry, and I really just wanted to have a good time and eat.

“Who did your makeup?” I asked Mila, after we sat down.

“Trina.” She said, looking directly at me.

“Ahh, I see. She did a great job.” I responded, honestly.

“Did you tell Ray about the connection I made?” Mila asked me.

“What happened?” Ray asked.

I sucked my teeth. “Mila, I’ll let you explain it.”

I listened to the story yet again about how Trina was involved with Deuce, broke it off because he then had a baby on the way, and then how him & I connected, and ended, tragically.

“Tuh!” Ray responded in surprise. “And she’s coming tonight, isn’t she?”

“Of course.” I said flatly, sipping on my lemon water.

I then began to go into slight details about Deuce & I and about our split, when Mila interrupted me.

“Yeah. She knows about that.”

“Knows about what?” I asked, sternly.

“About the first argument you guys had about his child’s mother. And she knows about the issues you had with her. And she knows about the time his baby moms was bugging because he wanted to go back home to visit his family.”

“Nah, hold up. All of that happened while he was with me though.” I stated with raised eyebrows.

There was then a slight pause.

“Oh, so them muthafuckas still must be talking then?” I said loudly. Mila didn’t curse, and usually I wouldn’t curse around her, but I couldn’t help it that time.

“I think they are just friends though. I’m not sure if they talk romantically again.” Mila tried to reassure me.

I nodded my head slowly. “Bet.”

 

Is she the reason you don’t call like you use to?

Fall through my hood like you use to?

Or put it on me hard like you use to do?

I feel in my mind what’s going on

But my heart won’t let me go until I know

Is she the reason that my calls couldn’t reach you?

The deepest of my love couldn’t please you?

Or bring it to me home like you use to do?

Seeing her falling for your charms

Got me feeling like I wasn’t good enough

I couldn’t help but wonder.

Maybe it was her who he longed for more than he longed for me.

I held it down on the outside, but in the inside, my mind was running a mile a minute. I started to feel my blood boil because I didn’t want to see this chick who knew the ins and outs of my business with Deuce.

She probably had the best and the last laugh.

But it was all good.

I couldn’t get too much into my thoughts because it was then, Sierra and Trina arrived, along with another friend of Sierra’s, almost an hour late to the dinner.

Ray, Mila, & I had already put in our orders because it was getting late and we were hungry.

“Hey yall!” Sierra welcomed everyone.

I chuckled. “Hey, Sierra. Good to see ya.”

“Okay, everyone, this is Trina. Trina, this is Ray and Bree.”

“Oh, yeah, I know Ray.” Trina giggled.

I looked up from my phone when I realized I still didn’t say anything.

Luckily the same time I was gonna say hello, Ray started talking, so it was all good with me.

If you know me, you know that I am barely quiet, unless I’m in deep thought, angry, or if I don’t know you too too well.

This type of quiet was different though.

You see, I’m a vibe person. And the more and more and more and more this chick ran her mouth, the more and more and more and more I grew annoyed. The vibe was fucked up and OFF.

I growled lowly because my food still wasn’t here yet. Unless that would serve as my distraction from being a part of this dumbass conversation she was trying to hold with the table.

You would think that tonight, it would be all about Mila, since it was her birthday. But this chick really made it all about her, and brought all the limelight to herself.

I cannot stand females like that.

You all are probably wondering that I just had all these feelings inside because she is still somehow involved with Deuce.

You would be partially correct.

But it’s another thing to just be obnoxious the whole night.

Now, I’m really not going to tolerate you.

My eyes lit up as I saw my food coming straight to me and off of the server’s tray. I said a quick prayer and dove into the juicy goodness of my meal.

Between eating, I would talk to Mila, who was next to me, texting Ray, who was also  on the opposite side of me, and texting my friend Melanie, because I knew she wouldn’t believe that I was having dinner with a chick of Deuce’s.

The whole night I had to hear about dumb shit. How dumb she thought certain topics were, how she didn’t know the difference between sleep apnea and insomnia, how she thought her food was disgusting, and constant inside jokes that Mila wasn’t even included in.

Ray is one of the most rationale people I know. And sometimes she has to check me when I would get out of pocket.

She sensed the annoyance that was seeping through my pores and shot me a quick text, telling me to not be petty.

I wasn’t on the verge of being petty, but I was on the verge of telling Trina to shove her food down her throat and choke on it, respectively.

I was able to get through the night, and my meal. I was just waiting to take a couple of pictures with Mila, and I would be on my merry freaking way.

Ray & I waited patiently as Trina wanted to play Hollywood Superstar with Mila like we ain’t have to go to work in the morning.

I rolled my eyes as she finally sat her ass down and cackled with Sierra, while Ray took some photos of Mila & I, and I did the same for Mila & Ray.

Of course Mila had been drinking, so after what took forever for Trina to consider, she decided to drive Mila home in Mila’s car, since they were also roommates. I walked behind with Mila as Trina walked ahead to Mila’s whip.

“Thank you so much for coming out.” She smiled warmly. “I really appreciate it.”

“You know I got you, dawg.” I hugged her. “Did you have a good birthday?”

She nodded. “Yes. And those drinks made it even better.”

I chuckled. “I’m glad. Get home safely. We’ll link up soon.”

I walked to my car, cranked up my whip, and put on “Hood Politics” by Young Jeezy that had my bass thumping as I sped off & out the parking lot.

What a freaked up night.

Never in a million years would I have thought that I would have dinner with the other woman.

She knew not to say the bare minimum to me, and there was nothing that needed to be said to her.

There was nothing to talk about.

As long as I enjoyed all $20.00 of my food, ya girl was great.

I couldn’t help to think that that negro Deuce had to be pillow talking and telling this other chick about what was once our business.

I guess that shit is public information now since all bets were off.

 

All you had to say was this ain’t what you want

I wouldn’t be so hurt and I could just move on

You had me believing everything was my fault

But I can see it now

It’s a situation that I must let go

Cause you ain’t gonna be a man and let me know

I guess me seeing you with her tells it all….

If I’m ever oh so fortunate to see them together.

Gag.

Best of wishes.

————————————————————————————————————————-

I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to, yall. LOL, I promise you God puts me in the craziest predicaments, just to share them and to let people know that this shit really does happen in real life!

I’m sure some of you wanted this story to go a different way, but sometimes in life, you have to know your place, and better yet, where you want to go in life. Neither of them ain’t bout it, and ain’t worth it.

That night it wasn’t funny, but now I can chuckle about it.

It’s a small world after all! Take it from me. 🙂

Until next week.

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4 thoughts on “Is She The Reason?

  1. Tavia says:

    I mean you could not change the situation because it was already pass . We have to just be mindful of our actions on a daily basis and think …is this worth it in the end? That does mean when we are face with certain situations we will not speak up. Silence can be extremely deadly at times which is often times forgotten.

    • Absolutely. In life, you have to pick and choose your battles. Your choice can illustrate whether a situation is that great to you or not to where you need to push an action behind it. Life is filled with tests and challenges, it’s up to you to see what it really is and allow it to help you grow. Nice dialogue!

  2. Tavia says:

    How ironic y’all were in the same environment at the same table and all. Anyway how this scene played out has shown much growth within. Sometimes stuff have to boil up inside and stay “inside” in order for one not to create a scene. Furthermore It was your friends night so having an argument with Trina would just be a disappoint to the birthday girl. All in all the bible talks about enemies will be in each other presence but in the end it’s how the situation will be handled. Our flesh makes us as humans react to situations that in the end wasn’t necessarily worthy of our time but as I said earlier your reaction protrayed growth within.

    • Tavia, thanks for sipping tonight! Growth is definitely the word. Cause honestly, if I was still in the place I was years ago, things wouldn’t have been as smooth. But I’m blessed to be in a better space, and having a better mind and spirit. Thank you for your thoughts! ☕️❤️

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