Ride Or Die Chicks: Are They Holding Their Men Down or Holding Themselves Back?




Ooh chile, if I got paid for every time I heard this title, baby, I wouldn’t have to look for tuition money… I would just pull it out my bra. I don’t think people understand the true meaning of a ride or die, and if they do, they don’t apply the title correctly to the situation.

First off, I have to thank my ace boon coon Yolanda for shedding this issue in the light. Now it’s time for me to dissect it and give you THAT REAL.


The term “ride or die” is pretty popular, and sometimes highly overused. Plainly, a “ride or die” is a woman who is willing to go above and beyond for her man, who will be there through the good and the bad, no matter the cost, nor the situation. The woman who will stand by her man when things get bad, even in attempts to try to protect him. Many ride or die’s  even resort to violence and/or drug slinging to support their man by all means necessary, or even in smaller cases, take a bid for them. The circumstances that different women will have all depend on what they choose to do.  For instance, in Ace Hood’s “Ride” [http://rapgenius.com/Ace-hood-ride-lyrics]  featuring Trey Songz, he wants his lady to stand by him solely so they can get out of the hood.  Versus Ja Rule’s “Down 4 U” [http://rapgenius.com/Ja-rule-down-4-u-lyrics ] featuring Charli Baltimore, Vita, and Ashanti, he asks whether his lady would bust her gun with him, lie to the feds when they come get him, and if he died, would she kill for him. Now like I said, every woman will have her own limit when it comes for what she will do for her man. To each his own.

The most popular connotation with the title “ride or die”, is the impression that the woman will hold their man down while he is incarcerated. Yep, that’s right up my alley. So if that earns me the “ride or die” title, so be it. Personally, I didn’t look at it as an option. It was only one choice to make when I was put in that situation, and I don’t regret it one bit.

But what women don’t understand is… being a “ride or die” DOES NOT entail you for constantly forgiving a man for hurting you and letting him slide back into the same position he had with you. Wake up and SMELL THE TEA!

Let me help you get yo life right quick.

Have you ever heard of the quote, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”? Honey, that same quote applies to everyday problems in a relationship. If you allow your partner to do the same things to you and EVERY TIME he f*cks up, you let him RIGHT back in, please tell me…. WHY WOULD THEY LEAVE? It’s like your allowing him OR HER (some ladies really are tramps) to go screw whatever their private part wants to dive in (or take in) and they can skip to their damn Lou and screw YOU. Be freaking smart!

You think sitting there and letting yourself be disrespected persistently is being a ride or die? You might as well stop singing “THESE N*GGAS WON’T HOLD ME BACK!” because that’s EXACTLY what you’re allowing your partner to do. If I got paid for every single story I’ve heard about an on and off couple STILL being together after five years and he/she won’t cut it off because “they have too much history”, I would pay ALL the strippers at the King of Diamonds by the MINUTE. You would rather lose your DIGNITY and SELF-RESPECT than lose some “history” that you hold so near and dear to your heart? Excuse the French, but that’s bullsh*t.

You females make me so sick about how “We not going nowhere” and “When you see him, just know that’s me”. So I suppose everyone knows that every time we see him, we DAMN sure don’t see you, but everyone BUT you. Be smart, play your part! As my gra Taylar would say, “Use your noodle!”

Sh*t isn’t that complicated. You probably still hold on because you are someone that just can’t stand to be alone. But babyyy, that’s a whole ‘nother blog post…


Bottom line, if you’re going to “ride” for your man, I hope you all sort those terms out before sh*t gets real. If you are going to stick by him when he just lost his job, play your part.  If you are going to help build him back up after losing everything, get those tools and get to building. If you have to pay some of the bills for a couple of months without having any animosity towards your partner, handle that fee. If you want to be his consoler and the only one he runs to, keep your arms wide open. If you have to sling coke and bust guns to constantly ride and prove your loyalty… just don’t shoot at me.  And even for the women like me… If you are going to unceasingly keep going to court dates, pay some of that commissary, keep that collect on your phone, and constantly write letters as much as you breathe, hold your man down. Don’t ride for a man who damn sure won’t ride for you. Especially a man who allows other women to ride him too….  This isn’t Stevie J’s bus.



Play your part and be smart.  Ride for a MAN who’s willing to ride that rollercoaster with you. No matter how many dips, tricks, drops and turns.


Now are you already seated by him on the passenger’s side, or are you seated in the backseat?



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