CAUTION: HOT TEA AHEAD. A BURN ON THE TONGUE IS POSSIBLE.
Now as women, sometimes we do have this fantasy where we expect this nice, intelligent, juicy lip, pretty teeth, six pack with a “magic stick”, sexy built physique, genuine “hustler” of a man to just come from the hilly tops of Good Man Land and swoon us, sweet us on down with his game, and even put a couple of Franklin’s in our purse. Let me pop your little fantasy balloon… POP! STOP DREAMING. That’s absolutely mistake numero UNO. Honestly speaking, I (yes, even ME) do have my expectations already pre-set and they sit pretty high on my bookshelf when it comes to that contradicting subject of love. But honey, only the wise will truly learn that having expectations for ANYONE is the number one way to be disappointed. That comes with family and friends too..Don’t believe that someone will do something just because it’s for you or because that’s your “dawg” and that’s your “man”. As my good friend Ty would say, “GET YO LIFE!” Nobody owes you anything in this life, so DON’T expect it!
*sips on my tea slowly but slyly*
Since we got that out of the way, lets chat about how becoming too comfortable will get you’re a** laid out..QUICK. It goes right back to the brief talk we just had about expectations. You get this impression that your man; and fellas, even your WOMAN (yes, that same down a** b**** who has been holding you down since middle school) won’t ever flip the script on you and that just gives you the right to do whatever the heck you want. Tuh. You better realize that nothing is promised to you, and sadly that could include commitment, honesty, loyalty, and all the main qualities that every individual should look for in a partner. This goes for friendships as well. You really have to be careful with those. Many friends that you claim you have are looking like future CNN reporters, ready and willing to slander what they can just to have a good story and a better rep. Sneaky snakes in the grass, and baby they could be willing to get you’re a**..
But I digress.
On to my next point.. Dependence. This will back up my theory of women actually waiting to exhale from a man. Now, go back and read that sentence again. “..waiting to exhale from a man.” Umm, say what? Who justified that it was okay to allow a man to be the one to finally make you exhale? OKAY, I know what you’re thinking. “Dang, this girl better be a feminist!” “This dang ol men hating a** chick…” Yeah yeah, hold your assumptions. Trust, I have heard them all. The principle for that whole statement was to express how significant women make men in their lives instead of being that main significance for themselves. Some women and even some men depend too much on the actions of their partners and focus too much on what their partners can do for them. You see, there are many women who are actually willing to always but their partner first and end up getting lost in the whole damn relationship. Baby, that is NOT a relationship. Yes, I can preach about this all day long because I used to be that girl who always believed in doing the absolutely utmost ALWAYS for her man when she didn’t get sh*t in return. A relationship consists of two who are working together CONSTANTLY, SIMULTANEOUSLY…. or for the ratchet ones, *Future voice* AT THE SAME DAMN TIME! So if you ever feel like you’re in a relationship by yourself, chances are that you are indeed solo and somebody definitely did something wrong. Whether it be your partner, who got too comfortable and took advantage of you, or the blame being on you- where you allowed the act of being too comfortable to take over or maybe your dependence on your partner was just too strong.
See, that word… dependence.. it’s blatantly toxic. The fact that women and men just depend on the other countlessly just shows what type of backbone they really have. It’s understandable to not give someone your all in the midst of first encountering them, or even after the first couple of dates. You would be a fool if you did. But actually waiting for this man or this woman to do everything right before you can decide to exhale? Before you can “breathe again”, just like Toni Braxton? It’s absurd! You better come back up to the surface of the water and get the oxygen your brain direly needs! The word “waiting” connects right with the word “expectations”, and what did I say about that? Don’t ever wait for someone to do right, because if they want to, they WILL and if they don’t, they WON’T. Waiting for things to go in your favor or even waiting for someone to do everything right is like waiting for Boris Kodjoe to ride on a stallion down a mountain in the wild jungles of Costa Rica and tell you to hop your horny butt on. It is NOT guaranteed! You have to have that “Que sera, sera” mentality. Whatever will be, will be. What is meant for you, will be yours! If he ain’t acting right, let it go! And if you think you waiting for something in particular gives you security that it will happen, then baby, you can continue to watch paint dry. What’s the point of being with someone if you’re every move is in a tip-toe like motion and you got to walk around everything like eggshells, hoping that nothing effs up? Don’t be like Bernadine from the movie “Waiting To Exhale”. Honey waited to exhale when she found out what type of man she was with and she allowed that man to hold her breath captive when she should have been breathing all along! She snapped as quickly as she lit her husband’s car on fire and lit that cigarette right afterwards. Need to see that scene? View the video below.
Honey…Protect your lungs and swim back to the surface to really let yourself exhale. Let your exhale be from you & your decisions and not what a man has done to you! Don’t wait till it’s too late or you’ll self-destruct!
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